Discernment & Distortions: Knowing When to Trust, Listen, and Let Go

Standing in the Eye of the Spiral: Navigating Life's Twists with GT

Discernment & Distortions: Knowing When to Trust, Listen, and Let Go

WARM UP. Good greetings to all those joining in on reading my writings today. We had a wonderful visit to the sanctuary today and the visit has rejuvenated me of sorts. Last week I was drained of my creative energy and did not get my blog entry done– in fact it was not even started.  So many of life's situations can come at you so unexpectedly fast that occasionally the way you react might just surprise yourself. Lots of the creative force I usually move around with was spent reflecting, assessing, and positively moving forward.

This week has had its ups, downs, round and rounds. The nature of my professional career as a coach and now business co-owner has its ebbs and flows. Where one client comes in, one might go, my intent is always to get one in order to have them recommend my services to another. Our community at the gym we run is also based on a similar principle. Occasionally growth does not seem fast enough for what we offer. What exactly are we offering? We offer tools for people to improve their lives, first off through their health. It is not easy when it comes to helping people improve their health, there are usually so many “inputs” or, as my DJ friend DJ GMoney calls it in his profession, “sound bleed.” So when you say “do this” and there is another that says “do that,” who are you to trust?

I would have a tough time writing the enormous list of accredited professions that people so willingly trust their health to. Whether it be Oprah, the TV doctor, influencer, or old wives tales about how to go about becoming healthier, people seem easily led to believe in the next great sponsored product. In general, as people have been led to more “knowledge” here in the “information age,” it seems that people are seriously lacking an incredible skill taught in Buddhism called “discernment.” Discernment is “the ability to judge well.” I love the online dictionary sentence example of “an astonishing lack of discernment.” Generally in Buddhist teachings it refers to the capacity to recognize and perceive reality accurately, free from the distortions of our mental habits and biases. It's about developing a clear understanding of the true nature of things and acting accordingly.

A similar distortion that many people fall into is false attribution. Attribution is “the action of regarding something as being caused by a person or thing.” When you falsely attribute something you can easily become a hypochondriac, hypocrite, or hostage to your own misunderstanding. It amazes me how many people come into our space looking for help yet have all the answers already. This reminds me of when I ended up nearly dying of appendicitis.

I am in seventh grade and sick to my stomach. We go to our primary care doctor’s office and the primary care doctor is out of office for a vacation. After the preliminary inspections by the resident doc, my mom tells the doc “this is either the flu, or appendicitis.” Now how the hell my mom at the time– what is this, mid nineties? – about appendicitis is beyond me. My mom has always been rather well-read to some degree so perhaps after she reads this (Hi Mom!) Perhaps she will have the answer for me. The doc responds that if it's appendicitis, she will “let us know.” Well I ended up missing six weeks of school and was forced to go. That very day a wonderful teen didn’t believe me that my stomach hurt so they decided to take it upon themselves to punch me in my stomach! As I doubled over in pain, I immediately went to the nurses office and was escorted home. A rush to the doctor's office the next day, followed by an inspection by my primary doctor led to a rush to the hospital. Yes my appendix had burst, and yes, I attribute it to the punch in my stomach.

COOLDOWN. I hear the bottom of a bowl clanking around in the other room, which means my partner has finished her dinner. That means I should probably service this pang in my stomach before hopping into my incoming meeting soon. Today we briefly talked about my encounters with people who seem to have a lack of discernment and tend to falsely attribute ongoing events in their lives. I am fondly looking forward to the week ahead. I have at least three new people I will be able to discuss these topics as well as with my normal client load. I hope this writing motivates you in some way to explore your own capacity for discernment and attribution.

Take Care, 

G$